eastbound and down

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  The only drug I need is the endorphins pumping through my brain in anticipation of our victory. T Shirt

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  You’re fuckin’ out, I’m fuckin’ in. T Shirt

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  I’m not an athlete, I’m a professional baseball player. T Shirt

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  Why give 100% when 35% will get you paid and laid? T Shirt

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  I’m the man who has the ball. I’m the man who can throw it faster than fuck. T Shirt

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  I think the problem most people have is they don’t believe they can stay number one. T Shirt

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  You want a shot at the title? Come and get it, champ. T Shirt

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  You ever seen that movie The Patriot? He had a pitchfork. I have a baseball. T Shirt

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  I’ve got my fastball, I’ve got my changeup, and I’ve got my mind. T Shirt

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  Life is about love, last minutes and lost evenings. T Shirt

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  I’m a very big deal. T Shirt

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  I’m bulletproof. Touch me, I’ll break your goddamn hand. T Shirt

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  I don’t play games. Unless it’s Final Fantasy. T Shirt

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  There comes a time in every man’s life when he’s gotta handle shit up on his own. T Shirt

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  Yes, I have tattoos. Obviously I have a banging V-Body. T Shirt

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  You’re out. And I’m in. Your time is over, and mine is just beginning. T Shirt

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  When my ass was 19 years old, I changed the face of professional baseball. T Shirt

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  At least I’m not a horrible failure. T Shirt

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  I play real sports. I’m not trying to be the best at exercising. T Shirt

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